"I'm gonna put some rope lights around my, uh, balcony and I'll play C&C Music Factory. That's my holiday. It's all about getting the light into the darkness. You can't fight darkness with darkness." -Jen Kirkman, I Seem Fun podcast
I needed that. I'm starting to get a little gloomy.
Random Ramblings
Monday, November 17, 2014
Friday, August 29, 2014
08/29/14
I once said to someone, "I feel like we've broken up, but there's nothing to be broken."
This article kinda captures that that feeling:
http://elitedaily.com/dating/werent-together-yet-still-broke/696524/
Monday, August 11, 2014
08/11/14
A Lloyd Dobler and his boombox-like grand gesture... I want to be a recipent of something like that one day. Okay, so not quite in every sense of the whole idea of that, but I think you catch my drift.
I don't know why I have been thinking of that lately, but I am. It's redonkulous because that's a movie... Things like that don't happen in real life. I want to live in a world that it could happen, but I know better than to think that exists. And probably not for people like me.
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
08/05/14
I pick stupid things to get aggravated about. I sweat the small stuff too much. I feel like I owe everyone, when sometimes I should just say, "Hey, thanks for getting that for me. I appreciate it."
I feel like my grandma did so much for me growing up that I need to help take care of things for her now that she's getting older.
And my mom has helped me out a lot over the past few years, financially, that I feel like I owe her too.
I'm told in both these cases that I should feel this way. But internally, I feel like I do. Even though, they wouldn't have done it if they didn't want to, or didn't have the means. It's exhausting to feel this way all the time. I go though phases where I pretend I to be selfish and "do what I want to do", but this nagging guilt is always there, festering under the surface.
I know I'm the hardest on myself. I know no one probably cares about all of this as much as I do. I wish I had a way to make it better and just not worry about it.
Monday, July 21, 2014
07/22/14
"I am biting my lip...As confidence is speaking to me.
I loosen my grip from my palm...Put it on your knee."
"Give Out" - Sharon Van Etten
Saw her at Forecastle this year. Loved her. Can't stop listening now that I'm home and settled in for the night.
Monday, June 23, 2014
06/23/14
"He's creature of habit..or so it seems. But sometimes I do little things for myself that make me feel closer to him." --Me
That's from a journal entry I wrote back on July 8, 2014. It's a little out of context, but I do not wish to share more. I like it though. And I still do some of those little things. It's all an illusion, but sometimes it's nice to have something...even if it's not really anything at all.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
05/01/14
It's been a while since I've written anything. I read back through some older posts and I feel like nothing much has changed. Still seem to be following the same cycle, but I have to want to change it. I guess I'm just not quite ready yet. Sooner or later, something's gotta give... maybe. I don't know.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)